Sweet baby jesus with some cheese on those fries, Jessica Simpson has some junk in that there trunk of hers – and what’s going on at the front? Has she been smuggling spanish hams up her tent-sized bra again?

Here she is leaving a hotel in NYC yesterday (08.09.10) in a pose that won’t look familar; meaning she isn’t glued to the face of the latest dude she’s been twitpic’ing like he’s about to die or something else.

What’s with the Italiano style lace (did she steal a table cloth from someone’s gran) and as for those animal print heels..heh bish, the leopard called, he wants his coat back.

And as if channelling a move from one of Jane Fonda’s work out poses, what’s that leaning back thing about? Has she swallowed Paris Hilton (who also does that ‘leaning’) and needs to poop her out? Looks like it.

Anyone who was in front of her gut and breasts on the pavement at the time….RIP.