After blaming the stress of the death of ex-wife Jade Goody on his multiple sh*g-fests, booze-binges, alleged rape allegations and biffing up taxi drivers which landed him in the clink for 6 months due to violating his parole conditions – A-hole Jack Tweed is back.

But brace yourselves – if you thought the 22-yr-old was coming out a ‘changed man’, then you’re in for a shocker.

Whilst Tweed’s mum is alleged to have said her son ‘had been thinking of nothing but his late wife while in Pentonville Prison’ – the News of the World revealed a prison source who claimed Tweed is in fact desperate to return to his ‘wild party lifestyle’.

The source revealed:

“All he was talking about was getting out as quickly as he could so he could get back on the booze and start meeting girls again. They’re the two things he’s missed the most while he’s been inside. But he hasn’t had a bad time because the other inmates thought he was a God.”

God of twats maybe – we just hope someone lamps him in Faces nightclub next time he graces them with his prick-like presence.

Tut tut Peter Andre, you naughty little fella you!

There we were thinking the sun shineth from your cute little derriere with all your revelations about being ‘celibate’ post-Jordan, waiting for the ‘right girl’ – and now we know it was all peter-the-pretender, cause you’ve been sh*ggin like a rabbit!

Yep, we thought he doth protest his ‘innocence’ too much whilst he was ‘at it’ all the time with a 30 yr-old glamour model (ew, another one) – who he wooed just 8 days after his divorce from Katie Price.

Maddy Ford broke her silence on the affair to The News of the World, revealing she and Andre ‘romped’ in his Brighton home and even in a shower during a video shoot – classy girl.

Andre was forced to admit the little fling after news broke that the model was to go public with the story, saying:

“Yes it’s true. I was intimate with Maddy on a handful of occasions.We both went into it with our eyes open, and let’s just say I certainly know how to pick ‘em!.

When asked about why he chose not to reveal his fling with the model, the singer said:

“I always said that I would only talk about a new relationship if it was a serious one and as far as I’m concerned this was not serious. I have tried in my heart to do everything in the right way. I waited until I was divorced before I considered moving on. I have never been intimate with anyone in front of my children, apart from their mother, to this day. I remained faithful to my ex-wife throughout our marriage until I was divorced. As far as I am concerned I am a single guy without a girlfriend.”

Ouch….there’s mud in your eye Maddy love – you were JUST another sleb sh*g. But we guess Petey won’t be too disappointed with the gossip about his bedroom antics – as the model ‘bigged up’ his pants package dispelling the ‘acorn size’ rumours and also revealed the singer likes it rough.

The cheesy-greek just turned into a hunk-a-meat-souvlaki that we’d like to get our teeth into!