Here’s some pics from the blokey version of Showgirls starring Channing Tatum with lickable waxed nipples - Steven Soderbergh’s Magic Mike - dubbed by MTV as “the male eye candy movie event of the year“. Basically it’s a male stripper epic and it better be full of dressing room dick-slapping and cruising seedy bars for an extra scratch or we’re not paying for a ticket.
Look, it’s the Showguys!
Freshman in just their kecks washing a car? what better way to lose your pants of an afternoon. And for your extra fapping pleasure (aka, the full uncensored version), visit the Andrew Christian website, where things get even more wet ‘n nekkid.
This is a homo masterpiece that will scoot glittery skid marks of peeña colada lube through every single category in the MTV VPA’s (video penis awards).
Here’s Vadge at the premiere of W.E in London, throwing a not-so-subtle TAKE THAT BEETCH’S! to stache waxers everywhere, while trying to shield her face from anyone who may throw hydrangeas directly at it - this is known to weaken the evil powers she possesses in her silicone sack cheeks.
Bless her for also bringing along publicist Liz Rosenberg, who proved you’re never too old to look like one of the ‘two fat ladies’ (the not dead one) after she raided Mimi’s dress-up box and added DIY eyelids (well, tangerine is the colour of 2012 daaaarlings).
Vadge is SO leaning in while Liz says, “remember not to talk like a pretentious cuntwaffle just because you’re in Lie-cester Squaaaaaare”. And there you were thinking ourladyofpillowcheekplumping speaks with a completely natural British tongue.
It really is the simple things in life that give you a reason to take off your pants on a Monday.
Here’s Tom Ellis on the cover of February’s Attitude magazine, in a hot piece buffet featuring man nipples and fresh white boxers full of soft bulging love, communicating to us in body language to come ravage him whole. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t ask the photographer to hold your purse why your knees started to bend either.
The only way this picture could be better is if the “other” Tom (aka Hardy) was knelt behind original Tom, biting into his succulent nalgas. We’re making that “MY BODY IS READY POSE” in front of our computer screen as we type.
The man we’d like to canary noodle with (aka canoodle with) is thirty plus seven today. Many happy dick-tappings on the nalgas Bradley Cooper.
*Cue genitals everywhere going weak*
David Beckham is now the #1 piece to fap to (just like Marky Mark in his Calvin K’s in 1992), because the man who makes our b-holes open for business and take new applications for 2012, has officially launched his panty line for H&M. Yes folks, this means his bulge will be x10 its normal size for the purpose of advertising; which means there will be lots of folks with slobbering no-no’s gawping at him all over the UK.
So go ahead, reach for the lotion, retreat to your bathroom and remember to use your feet to keep the door closed if you haven’t fixed the lock yet.
As it’s a bank-holiday Monday for some of us, your head might still be in a toilet at Wetherspoon’s where you left it last night. So hopefully this picture of Marc Jacobs’ ex-fiance-but-new-man-piece-again Lorenzo Martone, tickling his own foot and pushing a lube bubble out of his b-hole, may ease your pain.
