Some folk will tell you this is Tom Cruise in costume whilst filming the pile of sh*t nobody wants to see, Mission Impossible 4.

But it’s actually how the gayface disguises himself for all those trips he and John Travolta make at midnight when he’s slid Katie’s robot switch to ‘off’ and Samsara (The Ring) Suri is tucked up in her hairball.

Military seems to be his thing, so we imagine he likes to dish out orders and expects you to salute him while taking up the arse. Cute.

He and Prince Harry should so go out to play.