Take the Prince of Wales‘ Aston Martin Volante – a gift for his 21st Birthday from The Queenie. Add Prince William with Kate Middleton and what do you get?
This…..
Possibly THE BEST thing we saw at the Royal Wedding today. The happy couple breaking with tradition and pomp, getting down with the people on a ‘Just Married’ drive from Bucks Palace to Clarence House. Proud to be British? You BET WE ARE!
GO WILLS AND KATE!
We wanted this….
And bridesmaids like this….
But instead we got this….(Sarah Burton for McQueen, we L.O.V.E it, natch), but it’s not a patch on Gypsy…innit.
No says the twat in the hat, yo batshit face never moves. Can we hit her in the face with a frying pan now please??!
And the mirrored answered back…”Bitch PURLEASSSSSSSSE”.
There were two Queens in Westminster Abbey today, and one of ‘em wasn’t wearing canary yellow. But he was wearing fake bake, a wink for Prince Hazza and a polished look that said James Middleton is most definitely a GAYFACE. And yes, we most definitely WOULD HIT IT.
Because nobody wants to see sleb spawn suckling off a tittay, or MORE of Miranda Kerr bish rubbing our faces in the fact that she’s playing happy SKINNY fucking families with Orlando……we say….EFF OFF and take your smug pictures with you. The End.
Nothing says Elegant Rose of England, like Tara PT’S coke ravaged snozz under a Philip Treacy fascinator for the Royal Wedding. Never mind the cocaine plantation on the outside, the inside of her nose probably looks like the bottom of Lindsay Blohan‘s handbag.
But heh, at least she kept her titlers in for a change.
It’s pretty obvious that preggers Victoria Beckham, clad in a midnight blue boat neck tunic dress from her latest AW11 collection for the Royal Wedding, wasn’t there for the cake.
David on the other hand raised his eyes to god as he entered the church and thought, “I hope people don’t think I look like Ricky Gervais“.
Here’s the news David. WE DID. Time to fix that hair.
Look at the Pride of Britain and the Pride of our over-excited pants, Prince Fun (Hazza, obv), seen below clad in the Household Cavalry’s Blues and Royals uniform for the Royal Wedding (he’s newly promoted as Captain don’t cha know).
And because we’ve now been playing drinking games since, oh, 9am, knocking back a shot every time someone on the Beeb said “his Mother would’ve been soooooo proud”…..we’re about to pass out in our own I LOVE YOU HAZZA slobber. Because we do. Love him that is.
