First there were slankets and footless onesie’s for adults, aka all-in-one things for people who just don’t give a fuck about peeing themselves anymore. Now we have the ‘Wonder Woman’ throw/blanket (there’s a Batman AND Superman one too), which is basically a fleece-covered colostomy bag with the print of a comic character’s body on it, that doubles as a muff for warming your hands and/or a wank blanket.
Unlike the slanket and onesie though, this throw doesn’t promote laziness, it actually promotes burning calories! We’re practically out of breath just thinking about all the Twitpics you could take posing as Wonder Woman while not actually moving from the sofa! Unlike WW though, you won’t have to soak your vagina in yogurt to treat a permanent case of the yeasties after wearing pussy-suffocating spandex briefs for too long. With this throw, you can just ‘let your flaps go!”
The “Being Wonderous” throw (no really, that’s what it’s called on Amazon) comes with two customer reviews, our favourite being:
“This item was a huge hit!!! The friend I got it for couldn’t stop laughing!! It make a great gift for someone who likes to look snazzy while on the couch“.
OR, to put it another way, “It would make a great gift for someone who likes to look one braincell short of a braincell while on the couch“.