Dee Koppang is keeping her lips shut to public ears about whether or not her uterus is playing the lullaby version of the Crap Factor theme song, but her new fiance Dermot O’Leary is busy telling the world that the wedding march version of the Crap Factor theme song will soon play somewhere, because they’re getting marrieeeeeed! All they need now is Sinitta to re-record her jungle version of “So Macho” for the wedding first dance, and this news will have the happy ending it really deserves.
After Xtra Crapfactor presenter Caroline Flack blabbed the news out like the fart waiting to escape her gut every time she smiles, the hot piece of an Irishman finally confirmed he was getting hitched on Twitter last night, saying:
“Thanks for all the tweets tonight. Very lucky boy”
O’Leary apparently got down on one knee and presented Koppang with a diamond engagement ring during a steak dinner at NYC restaurant Saxon & Parole. The engagement comes seven months after the couple bought a £3.5million home in North London earlier this year. Meaning, he paid for it, and she’s a lucky bitch.
We can just imagine Simon Cowell frantically applauding from his jetski in Barbados to hide the sound of Mezhgan‘s simultaneous queefing as they heard Dermot’s engagement news. The poor cow is STILL waiting for Cowell’s moobs to name the big day. And we’re pretty sure that simultaneous queefing lasted longer than her marriage to Cowell will anyway!
Unlike Dermot and Dee. This one will stick. You know what they say (they don’t say this). A marriage to a furry billionaire who suffers from chronic menopause sweats never works, but marriage to a guy with a HUGE BULGE like Dermot’s (don’t pretend you don’t gawp at it in those tight suits he wears every weekend like us) will last forever!
Congrats bitches!
