Last year Helen Mirren kicked the liquid cement face of Megan Fox to the curb when she beat the actress to scoop Esquire magazine’s Sexiest Woman Alive competition. And now Helen baby is back, this time wearing nothing but a Union Jack flag for a shoot with the magazine. Hur and Rah! Since we usually only see 20-somethings with their ass cheeks glued to their chest around here, it’s nice to finally kind-of-peek at some organic and well-seasoned... 

It’s a photoshop awards winner for Wednesday 13 July 2011 – the gods of retouching are glowing through the eyes of Katie Robot on the Aug issue of InStyle.    Read More →

And this time the lucky recipient of Jessica Simpleton‘s chicken fat stained lips is an orange $15,000 Hermes Birkin bag. That’s one 31st b’day that bag will never forget. Gifted to the finger lickin’ good whore by fiance Eric Johnson, Simpleton posted a pic of her getting up n close with the puckered leather pressie on Twitter. While Eric sweated into the shagpile trying to find a place to hide the receipt with her credit... 

When Shia LaBeouf isn’t dragging on a fag somewhere or gargling out nuggets of shit, he can be found embracing his assholeness by having fisticuffs with the man who makes us wet swoon in all the parts that matter – Tom Hardy. Yes, apparently the actors had friction burns while on the set of movie “The Wettest Country in the World”, with LaBeouf using his trademark douchebag stare to take Hardy down, which obviously worked,... 

We already know that Meryl Streep can do no wrong and that she had possibly the best evil side-eye EVER on the big screen in The Devil Wears Prada. So let’s add another film success to her list of everythingmeryltouchesturnstogold by showing you the trailer for the new Margaret Thatcher biopic in which she stars as The Iron Lady. The film was written by Abi Morgan and also features Jim Broadbent (as half-asleep husband Denis), Anthony Head,... 

  Just a warning, you may want to rub SPF: 2,789,999 over your eyeballs before looking at this pic of Valentino with Natalia Vodianova, because staring at the walking bronzer stick will give you melanoma in the retinas. And even Natalia’s dress isn’t as red as the couture designer’s face, which has pores that just naturally secrete precious metals on their own. The pair were snapped at the Fairy Love Ball, held last night... 

Face meet desk. Again. Can you tell how much we hate this cover? In an attempt to be “down with the kids”, Vanity Fair decided to put Bieber on their February 2011 cover. But many of you no likee seeing the toddler lesbian in a tie covered in lipstick kisses. Apart from Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, who sent Brad out to buy as many copies as possible so she could use the cover as wallpaper. Angry subscribers decided the magazine had gone too far... 

  Here we go again. First Les Beaver. Then Greyson Chance and his fucking piano. Then Rebecca Black who should’ve received a restraining order from Friday’s. Now we have another yank fed to us by the auto-tune gods who goes by the name of Lexi St. George. This song feels like something you might hear if you walked into your younger sister’s room and caught her singing karaoke to an audience made up of her favourite stuffed... 

Penelope Cruz is either letting out a gigantic fart package, or she’s dropped a copy of her latest L’Oreal contract or she’s spotted a hot gayelle and she’s checking out what’s under her vagina trim. You decide. But this is where we’ll just type, “Ummmm….SI!” Ohhhhhh, beat us with a broom, would you look at that, she’s pointing at a star with her name on it!! But why isn’t she wearing plastic... 

Christina Hendricks – the ginge goddess with 8th wonder of the world magnificent chichi’s, can’t fit into a swimsuit. FACT. The actress told Lucky magazine’s August issue that beachwear just doesn’t have room for her titty appetisers, mains and desserts: “It’s really hard to find a bathing suit if you have breasts. You either get smooshed down or there’s no support… I have to be careful about my proportions...