Remember The History Channel said f*ck off to the the 8-hour long Kennedys mini-series starring Katie Robot which only got as far as the posters to promote the series which were all kinds of Jackie Owhatdidtheydotoyourface? Seriously, if you sat in a Scientology sauna while a dozen L. Ron Hubbards waltzed before your eyes and somebody showed you this poster, it still wouldn’t look like Stepford Katie. It does however look like a Jackie O wax figure made from candles and black marbles that was…well….left in the Scientology sauna for too long.

Anyway, after several networks gave the finger to the biopic also starring Greg Kinnear, someone called ReelzChannel has stepped in (we can feel the soil on Jackie O’s grave stirring as we type) and will air the $30 million series this April. The CEO of ReelzChannel had this to say to People:

“We don’t enjoy controversy or want to pick a fight, but the history is the history. When you watch this, there are incredible successes and unbelievable tragedies. The family stays together and they’re loyal to each other and to the country throughout the highest highs and the lowest lows.The cast put their heart and soul into this, and with great care to accuracy of circumstances and visuals. We’re so thrilled and proud of being able to step up and help this story be told that they so carefully created.”

Whew for ReelzChannel, because Katie was about to be dubbed into Spanish and sold to Feugo TV with a free wedge of Manchego, and everyone would’ve mistook her for Eva LongWHORIA, only with more clothes on. We imagine somewhere in TomKat Towers Katie has suffered another wire malfunction at the news her series has got the green light; by smiling without being programmed in advance by Suri on her iPad. Or was that just Katie thinking about catching Tommy Girl in his ass-less chaps earlier in the morning? …