Archive for admin

The Hooker Clown Knows How To Do It

November 21, 2011 / admin / No comments

The hooker clown that is Nicki Minaj gave us the Lady Blah Blah metal tit contraption moment of 2011 at last night’s AMA‘s, where she also wore a bright pink wig that looked like it had been microwaved for too long.

Bless her for having a spray-painted piece of LaToya Jackson‘s old nose stuck to her face too (she fed her old one to the pigeons last time she was pissed in the park and thought they were ducks) – and check out the way she’s also trained her eyebrows to say, “You fuck with my brows, you fuck with me”.

This folks is how to work the busted raver ho look. Nicki Minaj, WE LOVE YOU LONGTIME!

Oh, and if you’re really bothered, here’s the full list of winners from the AMA’s.

ARTIST OF THE YEAR - Taylor Swift (Proof that Americans need to get out more)

Favourite Male Artist - Bruno Mars (yes we most definitely would)

Favourite Female Artist - Adele (she no singie right now, hurty throat)

Favourite Band, Duo or Group - Maroon 5 (Adam as a side dish yes please)

Favourite Album - Adele’s 21 (Big-Up!)

Favourite Male Artist - Blake Shelton (who?)

Favourite Female Artist - Taylor Swift (siiiiiiiiigh)

Favourite Album - Taylor Swift’s Speak Now (even bigger siiiiiiiiigh)

Favourite Band, Duo or Group - Lady Antebellum (Cuntry, innit)

Favourite Artist - Nicki Minaj (About fecking time too!)

Favourite Album - Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday

Favorite Male Artist -Usher (yes we also most definitely would)

Favourite Female Artist - Beyonce (for that ass alone)

Favourite Album - Rihanna’s Loud (filthy bish we love)

Sprint New Artist Of The Year - Hot Chelle Rae (someone??)

Favourite Artist - Jennifer Lopez (getting a bit old for catsuits now)

SPECIAL AWARD - Katy Perry

(For marrying a man in jeggings and having  five No.1 singles from one really shit album)

Category: We'll be the judge of that / Tags: , , , ,

Xtina Is Still Having Her Moment

November 21, 2011 / admin / No comments

BLOODY HELL. Xtina was the Queen of holding down bloated gut at the AMA‘s (even Kelly Clarkson‘s sequins were on full stretch alert). This is the look you too can achieve when you turn your insides into a spit bucket at a free wine tasting, and shove all the buttered-up baguettes and fromage down your throat. Basically, Xtina dreams of vodka bottles made out of baked dough. Us too, actually.

Category: We'll be the judge of that / Tags: , , , , ,

Emily Is Stepping Up Her Famewhore Game

November 21, 2011 / admin / No comments

Emily Scott obviously isn’t bringing in the dough fast enough, hence why her desperate agent kicked her into the jungle with a bunch of hasbeen slebs trying to become relevant again. Look at this bottom of the barrel mess pulling the oldest trick in the famewhore book – getting her tupperware bowls out!

This is the sort of thing that happens when ladytroll’s crawl out of their hobbit holes when someone waves a cheque at them – it’s like she just graduated from the Katie Price School of Jungle Tit Poses.

Isn’t it amazing how having zero shame and even less dignity, can make you the shiniest petal on the famewhore flower that brings all the paps to the yard. Jungle. Back alley where you’re sucking off your next meal ticket. Wherever.

 

Category: The Awful Truth / Tags: , , ,

Back To The Biscuit Factory He Goes

November 21, 2011 / admin / No comments

No amount of singing his padded cooch off or Gary lying to us all about his act being “the performance of the night” could save Craig Colton from being drop-kicked out of the CrapFactor studios last night. The 22-year-old, who STILL had his toomanycustardcreams belly each week, despite the “mystery diet’ Gaz had put him on, lost out to Amelia Lily in the dowehavetolistentoyouwhinethishit? sing-off. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of Amelia, what in the god damn leopard print hell was she wearing last night?! One word darling, SPANX or size L.

Back to Craig, whose “singing” made us want to shove broken biscuits into our ear holes every week, so it’s just as well he’s off to join Sophie Habitat, Frankie Cockfleas, Kitty Toe and some other shit singers, in the box marked WHO ARE YOU?

Category: Hmm & Things / Tags: , ,

New Clips From The Muppets

November 21, 2011 / admin / No comments

The new Muppets film might be out here in February, but new clips for the movie are popping up online all the time, so head over to Coming Soon , who have nine clips from the film up now.

But if you just can’t wait to experience the marvellous Muppetry, watch two of our favourite clips below:

Adam Kane, Film Editor, Showbiz-i.com

Category: Film Stuff / Tags: , ,

Try To Contain Yourselves…

November 20, 2011 / admin / No comments

It’s not every day we’re blessed with the image of Mickey Rourke sans kecks. He’s so hot his trousers have melted right off of him! So here, feast your eyes on the filler in his pants rather than his lips for once.

Category: Hot Sluts / Tags: , ,

…And These Two Are Probably Getting Divorced

November 20, 2011 / admin / No comments

So much for slipping a ball and chain on each other’s cankles, because Katy Perry is telling friends her marriage to Russell Brand may soon join Demi and Ashton‘s on the pile marked “truthery and fuckery”.

US Magazine claims the singer confided in musician Tore Nissen - currently supporting her on the California Dreams tour – and we all know what that means. Katy is a bareback ho being dicked in the back of a rented trailer by some guy who doesn’t wear jeggings.

Expect to see Russell, the self-proclaimed man-whore back on the snatch stroll soon.

Category: We'll be the judge of that / Tags: , , , ,

These Two Are Doing That Marriage Thing

November 20, 2011 / admin / No comments


Dee Koppang is keeping her lips shut to public ears about whether or not her uterus is playing the lullaby version of the Crap Factor theme song, but her new fiance Dermot O’Leary is busy telling the world that the wedding march version of the Crap Factor theme song will soon play somewhere, because they’re getting marrieeeeeed! All they need now is Sinitta to re-record her jungle version of “So Macho” for the wedding first dance, and this news will have the happy ending it really deserves.

After Xtra Crapfactor presenter Caroline Flack blabbed the news out like the fart waiting to escape her gut every time she smiles, the hot piece of an Irishman finally confirmed he was getting hitched on Twitter last night, saying:

“Thanks for all the tweets tonight. Very lucky boy”

O’Leary apparently got down on one knee and presented Koppang with a diamond engagement ring during a steak dinner at NYC restaurant Saxon & Parole. The engagement comes seven months after the couple bought a £3.5million home in North London earlier this year. Meaning, he paid for it, and she’s a lucky bitch.

We can just imagine Simon Cowell frantically applauding from his jetski in Barbados to hide the sound of Mezhgan‘s simultaneous queefing as they heard Dermot’s engagement news. The poor cow is STILL waiting for Cowell’s moobs to name the big day. And we’re pretty sure that simultaneous queefing lasted longer than her marriage to Cowell will anyway!

Unlike Dermot and Dee. This one will stick. You know what they say (they don’t say this). A marriage to a furry billionaire who suffers from chronic menopause sweats never works, but marriage to a guy with a HUGE BULGE like Dermot’s (don’t pretend you don’t gawp at it in those tight suits he wears every weekend like us) will last forever!

Congrats bitches!

Category: Hmm & Things / Tags: , , , , ,

New Clip From Martin Scorsese’s Hugo

November 20, 2011 / admin / No comments

Martin Scorsese’s next film, Hugo, based on the novel, The Invention of Hugo Cabret, by Brian Selznick, is now just a couple of weeks away from release, and marks the director’s first foray into 3-D.

Speaking to USA Today, Scorsese described the technology as something that should never should have gone out of style.

“I remember being so disappointed that it was seen as a fad and then it just kind of disappeared,” he said. “It shouldn’t have. Life is in 3-D.”

Written by John Logan, who previously worked with Scorsese on The Aviator, the official synopsis for the film goes a little something like this: “Adapted from the Caldecott-winning Brian Selznick​ novel “The Invention of Hugo Cabret​,” Hugo is the story of a resourceful boy who lives in a train station and teams up with a spirited young girl to solve a mystery that is based in his past and affects both of their futures.”

Starring Asa Butterfield as Hugo, the cast also includes Grace Moretz, Sir Ben Kingsley, Jude Law, Sacha Baron Cohen, Christopher Lee, Emily Mortimer, Ray Winstone, and Helen McCrory.

Hugo is released in UK cinemas on December 2nd. Watch the latest clip of the movie below, entitled, ‘Big Machine’.

Adam Kane – Film Editor, Showbiz-i.com

 

 

 

Category: Film Stuff / Tags: , ,

War of the Worlds, With Liam Neeson As A Hologram

November 20, 2011 / admin / No comments

Jeff Wayne‘s Musical Version of The War of the Worlds is to return to UK Arenas, this time with a technological leap forward.

Internationally acclaimed actor Liam Neeson will appear in the production as a full body hologram interacting with live actors, and as an 11-foot high holographic head and shoulders hovering above the stage. He also appears within the 2-hour CGI film projected onto a 100 foot wide ‘animation wall’ adding an epic scale to the production.

33 years on since its original release, Neeson follows Richard Burton, whose holographic head has appeared in the show since 2006, using the original narration from Wayne’s classic 1978 album.

‘The New Generation’ of Jeff Wayne’s Musical Version of The War of The Worlds launched in conjunction with Sony Music, Live Nation and SJM Concerts, will tour arenas next month. The confirmed dates are as follows:

SATURDAY 01 LIVERPOOL ECHO ARENA
SUNDAY 02 CARDIFF MOTORPOINT ARENA
TUESDAY 04 NOTTINGHAM CAPTIAL FM ARENA
THURSDAY 06 LONDON WEMBLEY ARENA
FRIDAY 07 BIRMINGHAM NIA
SATURDAY 08 MANCHESTER EVENING NEWS ARENA
SUNDAY 09 SHEFFIELD MOTORPOINT ARENA
MONDAY 10 NEWCASTLE METRO RADIO ARENA
TUESDAY 11 GLASGOW SECC
THURSDAY 13 BOURNEMOUTH BIC
SATURDAY 15 LONDON O2 ARENA
SUNDAY 16 BRIGHTON BRIGHTON CENTRE

Tickets go on general sale this coming Friday 25th November 2011 @ 9am
Tickets: (all prices subject to booking fees)
£62.50 / £52.50 / £42.50 London
£62.50 / £42.50 Regional

Adam Kane – Film Editor, Showbiz-i.com

Category: Film Stuff / Tags: , , , , , ,
« Older Entries  
<