Tag Archive for The Gaga

The Hooker Clown Knows How To Do It

November 21, 2011 / admin / No comments

The hooker clown that is Nicki Minaj gave us the Lady Blah Blah metal tit contraption moment of 2011 at last night’s AMA‘s, where she also wore a bright pink wig that looked like it had been microwaved for too long.

Bless her for having a spray-painted piece of LaToya Jackson‘s old nose stuck to her face too (she fed her old one to the pigeons last time she was pissed in the park and thought they were ducks) – and check out the way she’s also trained her eyebrows to say, “You fuck with my brows, you fuck with me”.

This folks is how to work the busted raver ho look. Nicki Minaj, WE LOVE YOU LONGTIME!

Oh, and if you’re really bothered, here’s the full list of winners from the AMA’s.

ARTIST OF THE YEAR - Taylor Swift (Proof that Americans need to get out more)

Favourite Male Artist - Bruno Mars (yes we most definitely would)

Favourite Female Artist - Adele (she no singie right now, hurty throat)

Favourite Band, Duo or Group - Maroon 5 (Adam as a side dish yes please)

Favourite Album - Adele’s 21 (Big-Up!)

Favourite Male Artist - Blake Shelton (who?)

Favourite Female Artist - Taylor Swift (siiiiiiiiigh)

Favourite Album - Taylor Swift’s Speak Now (even bigger siiiiiiiiigh)

Favourite Band, Duo or Group - Lady Antebellum (Cuntry, innit)

Favourite Artist - Nicki Minaj (About fecking time too!)

Favourite Album - Nicki Minaj’s Pink Friday

Favorite Male Artist -Usher (yes we also most definitely would)

Favourite Female Artist - Beyonce (for that ass alone)

Favourite Album - Rihanna’s Loud (filthy bish we love)

Sprint New Artist Of The Year - Hot Chelle Rae (someone??)

Favourite Artist - Jennifer Lopez (getting a bit old for catsuits now)

SPECIAL AWARD - Katy Perry

(For marrying a man in jeggings and having  five No.1 singles from one really shit album)

Category: We'll be the judge of that / Tags: , , , ,

Gayness In The London Air? Vadge Is Coming!

October 29, 2011 / kate / No comments

Next Summer in Hyde Park (July to be exact), expect to be surrounded by shiny gayness. The gayness in the air will be so thick that you’ll start to cough up glitter. Yes folks, Vadge will perform for 60,000 men, their fruit fly BFF’s (with nice hair) and lesbians (some also with nice hair) – all to coincide with the 2012 Olympics. Not that anyone really gives a Taekwondo about the biggest sporting event to hit our shores since….whatever.

A source told The Sun newspaper: “Madonna is planning a huge comeback and was determined to do it at Hyde Park while the Olympics are on.

“She’s been out of the limelight musically for a while but is ready to jump back into the saddle and thinks there’s no better time to do it than when London hosts the Olympics.’

Really? As if there won’t be ENOUGH people from other countries clogging up our underground network and buses, having a bad-English day. Yeah, thanks for that Madonna.

The singer is also following in the footsteps of the Rolling Stones, Black Eyed Peas, Justin Timberlake and the late Michael Jackson, by headlining next February’s Super Bowl; kicking Lady Gaga‘s plumped-up camel toe, possum belly and costumes that should be burned in a shopping trolley barbecue, to the curb.

A source told Splash Online: “When Madonna heard Gaga was in the frame, she knew she had to step up her efforts. She is going to deliver the kind of show never seen before in NFL history.”

So yeah, prepare to take a second mortgage out on your nana’s house to buy a ticket to see Vadge’s Gremlin-crotch-in-some-form-of-lycra give you night terrors for the rest of your lives. I still wake up screaming about the toothy clitoris coming to get me during the “Dry & Sour” tour even now! Too much.

Vadge’s peeps are already pumping out the rumours that the upcoming tour to support her new album, will be “her best yet? Seriously, if she tries Part 2 of mentally giving herself an orgasm in front of thousands of people, this time just by staring at us saucily, I’ll sue for copyright. It’s really not that hard. I just have to see Mary Portas on the side of a bus and I’m yelping out loud like a Pomeranian in a state of ecstasy. Or I just have to stare at a packet of Haribo Starmix for a few seconds…..

Category: Hmm & Things / Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Does A Packet Of Lonely Nuts Come With That?

August 24, 2011 / Beci / No comments

Lady Blah Blah has said:

“I am supposed to be [lonely], I am an artist.”

“We wallow in loneliness and solitude our whole lives in search of the answer to hundreds and millions of questions that run through my mind. Yes I’m lonely, but I’m married to my loneliness.”

“I would choose my work [over love]. I would die without it and I could never be reborn.”

Uh and huh. Pass the nuts please…

Category: Hmm & Things / Tags: , , ,

Gaga In Daryl Hannah’s Old Mermaid Costume

August 17, 2011 / Beci / No comments

Yes that’s right, Lady Gaga has recycled Daryl’s former tail from the 1984 film “Splash” for her latest video “You & 1″. So if you have 6:12 mins free, go and get yourself a cuppa, a biscuit to dunk and watch the usual mix of seizure dancing and weird shit.

Category: Hmm & Things / Tags: , , , ,

A Very Gaga Christmas

August 15, 2011 / kate / No comments

 

Barneys is to collaborate with the Queen of the lil’ monsters herself, Lady Gaga, to bring a North Pole style workshop to its Madison Avenue store windows and fifth floor, in mid-November.

The Christmas ad and in-store campaign is the brainchild of Creative director Dennis Freedman, artists Eli Sudbrack and Christophe Hamaide Pierson, and of course….Nicola Formichetti, Creative director for basically-anything-to-do-with-Lady-Gaga. The store will brand all packaging and shopping bags throughout the season with the Gaga Workshop designs (pics above), and a range of limited edition gifts will also be on sale – but no, they won’t include fairies for the top of your tree clad in mini meat-dresses. Barneys will however donate 25 percent of the proceeds from the items sold, to a charity of the singer’s choice.

Mark Lee, CEO for Barneys said: “Lady Gaga is a rare cultural phenomenon, not only because of her exceptional talents as a singer, songwriter and performer, but also with regard to her support of equality and individuality and status as a fashion icon. Partnering with her in this unprecedented collaborative way to create the largest and most all-encompassing holiday theme that Barneys has ever mounted is a thrill. As a New York City landmark, we wanted to celebrate Lady Gaga as a fellow New Yorker and amazing talent.”

But don’t worry if you can’t make it to New York, Barneys.com will also be launching a digital version of the Workshop, so there’s no excuse not to gift someone a stocking filler! Joy to the Haus of Gaga and Hark the Herald Monsters sing….

Kate Lawson – Fashion Editor, Showbiz-i

Follow Kate @katelawson_

Category: Style & Vile / Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Jo Calderone Is Back

August 7, 2011 / kate / 3 comments

You may remember seeing someone known as Gaga posing as her male alter ego Jo Calderone for Japan’s Vogue Hommes cover and editorial Too Cool To Care, styled by Nicola Formichetti and shot by Nick Knight. No? Well here’s some imagery below to refresh your memory:

And now Jo returns, this time on the cover of Gaga’s latest single release You & I, and if I look at this image (below) for too long, I just can’t help but think to myself “You talkin’ to me, you talkin’ to me?” in a really bad Italian-American accent. Yes I have a vivid imagination. Anyhoo, I’m sure some folk will do the usual gushing-over-gaga thing on how she’s teaching us about the fluid nature of gender roles and the ultimate futility of valuing an individual as either a male or female. Fair enough.

But “Jo” just looks like the type you would steer clear of in a bar if he offered to buy you a drink. And did I miss the bit that said it’s “cool” for international music and style icons (Gaga, not Jo, obvs) to promote smoking to her millions of younger monsters? Tut and tut. Paws down for that one.



Kate Lawson – Fashion Editor, Showbiz-i

Follow Kate @katelawson_

Category: Style & Vile / Tags: , , , , , , ,

The “Uh huh, And You’re Looking At Me Because??” Pic Of The Day

July 15, 2011 / admin / No comments

We feel more sorry for the girl on her phone, walking into the airport behind Lady GahGah, who so obviously didn’t expect to be papped in her “not for public consumption” clothes.

Please, if you’re going to travel in comfort clothing to the airport, don’t be wearing leggings if you have knees that insist on meeting each other every five minutes and thighs that remind people of that Iberico Ham joint they had problems getting through customs in Madrid.

Category: The Awful Truth / Tags: , ,

This Is Exactly How I Dress When I Go To Yoga

July 4, 2011 / Beci / No comments

I have to give credit where credit is due. Lady GahGah deserves to be knighted by the Empress of Yoga Chic for putting my two favourite things together at last: chunky gold bling and a yoga mat. Ok ok, I’m joking about the gold bling, but I suppose that’s one way to recycle one of Mr T‘s old necklaces.

The singer was papped on her way to a yoga class in Taiwan, and this really is a priceless lesson in what-to-wear elegance – if you like lace, studded boots and Sam Sparro’s favourite colours that is.

I’m going to suck on my tongue and focus on the positive. Thanks to GahGah, I don’t have to worry about rushing to the hairdressers to get my roots done. Seems that two-tone is back in. Hur and rah.

Kate Lawson – Fashion Journalist & Fashion Editor Showbiz-i

Follow Kate @katelawson_

Category: Style & Vile / Tags: , , ,

Someone Should’ve Told Gaga She Has Sleep Crusties In Her Eyes

May 25, 2011 / Beci / No comments

This must be what Gaga looks like when she wakes up of a morning in her chonies and bra with mahoosive sleepie crumbles in her eyes. Add to that the smell of stale booze, fags and coochie sweat too. But you know, she can’t help it, she was just born that way.

Category: Hot Mess / Tags: , , , ,

This Is Lady Blah Blah’s Mother!

May 24, 2011 / Beci / No comments

This is Mother Monster above, the woman who gave birth to young Mary Magdalene (if Mary rode a motorbike that is), and who also looks all kinds of Grandma Addams these days, aka, Lady Gaga.

Cynthia Germanotta turned up in the audience of The View in the US to watch her daughter Blah Blah fart out the usual stuff about her tortured nipples, eyebrow-napping and completely fucked ankles. Or at least they should be by now.

During the interview, Gaga told the audience, ‘I’m really, really lucky, I have got a great family, just having my mum here means so much to me.’

But when asked about her “unique” sense of style, Gaga replied, ’This is just the way I am I was born this way’.

Er, perhaps not CaCa. Before the days of Klingon Madonna Disco Stick, we remember you like this…..

Category: Hmm & Things / Tags: , , ,
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