Those Scousers eh. If they’re not wearing tracksuits and spitting over us as they talk, they’re stalking Pamela Anderson.

The Sun reports that the one-time star, now just a panto dolly, was terrified after an uber-zealous fan tried to board her train from Liverpool to London last night; the same guy who bought front row tickets to every single one of her performances in Aladdin, the show about a genie whore with big tits.

So Pammie screamed ‘HELP’ and a ‘padded van’ blasting out The Beatles came speeding to her rescue and most of Merseyside’s cops jumped out, grabbed the lunatic fan and tossed him in; after which they posed with Pammie’s pneumatic assets for their Twitter avatars.

The former Baywatch star *coughs* eventually made her way back to London and still looked every inch the troll in make-up we’re so used to seeing.